Saturday, August 13, 2011

Help stamp out committees.

       In the news last week was a story about the Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee. They're the people who recommend new stamps to the U.S. Postmaster General. The process takes three full years, compared to the Nobel Peace Prize process, which takes 15 months.

       I've got my own ideas for stamps that honor my students, so I'd better start getting them to the Committee. Here's what I have in mind:

       1. The Lucas Flemming Stamp. He was the first student who told me nobody wants to read words in an ad. He said a picture is worth a thousand words. I asked him to draw a picture that says that. That was in 2008. He's still working on it.

       2. The Rory Manning-Glassenberg Stamp. Rory is the student who asked me thirteen times why fashion designers have to be able to sew. I told her it's been proven to be the best way to hold sleeves on. She believed me, and sold her stapler to a fashion marketing major.

        3. The Portfolio Class Stamp. This stamp commemorates graduating seniors from all disciplines who have done an above-average job on their portfolios. This stamp has a couple of typos on it, but it passed Spell-Check.

        4. The Morton Hemphill Stamp. Morton is a man of few words, which will make his dream to be a novelist an uphill battle. He's made his way through college by taking only courses with multiple-choice exams, and should be honored by a set of five stamps: A, B, A and C, B and D, and None of the Above.

       5. The Jervis Perlmutter-Zane Stamp. Jervis was the nineteenth student from Chicago who claimed to have written the line, "It's finger-lickin' good". However, he was the first one who had written it for a motor oil account.

       6. The Sisley Kixmiller Stamp. Sisley was the student from Long Island who taught me to turn on the projector before calling the Tech Department to send somebody up to fix it. This might seem too trivial to merit a stamp, but I was always in the dark without her.

        That's my list, but I'd be glad to add some if you can think of anyone I missed. But hurry; it takes three years. That's why the Postal Service calls their basic stamp the "Forever".

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