Thursday, February 23, 2012

Some apps I might actually use.

         A young woman complained to me: "Too many apps! I've got too many apps!" We talked and decided her problem wasn't too many apps. It was too many apps she never uses, staring at her every time she uses her phone.

          There are close to a half-million apps for phones these days, and they all sound like they're going to solve all your problems. They don't. For my friend, apps is a four-letter word.

           So I'd like to suggest that instead of waiting for someone to invent the perfect app for us, that we tell the app people what we want, and tell them to go make it. That's marketing at its best.

            I'm perfectly willing to start the ball rolling. Here are some apps I can use when I teach my college courses:

            1. The Instant Medical Exam App. This one is for students who email that they'll be absent because of a sore throat. This app will diagnose immediately, and write a doctor's note and a prescription for Halls Cough Drops.

            2. The Texting Under The Table App. Instantly projects the student's message on the room's movie screen.

            3. The Homework Truth Serum App. Immediately texts the student a question about the author's strange dream alluded to on page 102.

            4. The Impromptu Quiz App. For every possible subject, this app will assign a 750-word paper on the meaning of life.

            5. The Fire Drill App. It tells you whether it's a fire drill or a real fire, so you know whether to take your grade book or not.

             6. The Break Breaker App. Automatically resets the schoolroom clock to give you a longer coffee break.

             7. The Know-It-All App. Connects you 24/7 with a Harvard professor who will explain any part of your course that you really never understood.

             Those are my suggestions. What apps do you need? Maybe between us we can get some apps we can really apply.

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